Katherine Ryan’s husband is Bobby Kootstra, her childhood sweetheart from Sarnia, Ontario, Canada. The couple reconnected in 2018 after twenty years apart and entered into a civil partnership in Denmark in September 2019. Their story is one of the most unlikely and endearing celebrity love stories of recent years.
Bobby Kootstra grew up in the same Canadian town as Katherine Ryan. They first dated as teenagers when they were around fifteen or sixteen years old, a brief romance that ended when they went their separate ways. For nearly two decades, they lived completely separate lives, with Ryan moving to the United Kingdom in 2008 to pursue her comedy career. Kootstra remained in Canada, working in the broadcasting industry, though specific details about his professional life remain private. He has consistently avoided the public spotlight, making few appearances on Ryan’s social media or at industry events.
How Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra Reconnected
The couple’s reunion is almost cinematic in its improbability. In 2018, Ryan returned to her hometown of Sarnia, Ontario, to film an episode of the BBC genealogy programme Who Do You Think You Are? . It was during this trip that fate intervened. Ryan had a strong intuition that if she posted on Instagram about going out in Toronto with her sister, Kootstra would appear . She posted that she was heading to a pub, and remarkably, Kootstra showed up .
What followed was an unexpected reconnection. As Ryan later explained, she initially thought it would be a casual encounter, but their chemistry was undeniable. She told Davina McCall’s Begin Again podcast that they had a one night stand that went “horribly wrong” because it led to a lasting relationship and eventually three children . The next morning, Kootstra texted her to say he wanted to have children and get married. Ryan became pregnant very quickly after they reunited .
Their Civil Partnership in Denmark
The couple chose a civil partnership rather than a traditional wedding ceremony. The partnership took place in Denmark in September 2019, chosen because it was the quickest and most affordable option . Ryan explained her decision with characteristic humour on The Jonathan Ross Show, saying she did not need to put on a white dress and pretend to be a virgin because “that ship has sailed” . She also joked that the media had already reported they were engaged, so she thought it was a good idea to formalise things, especially since Kootstra might be facing visa issues .
The day was not entirely smooth, however. Ryan’s eldest daughter, Violet, who was ten years old at the time, did not take the news well. Violet had been used to having her mother to herself for years and was not trusting of Ryan’s relationship decisions . On the day of the ceremony, Violet “flipped out” and genuinely flipped a table at Tivoli Gardens in Copenhagen . Ryan recalled that Violet put on Chanel glasses and moped around the amusement park, but the family now laughs about the incident. Happily, Violet has come to love Kootstra, and Ryan says it is a beautiful thing that her daughter trusts her again .Quick Bio: Bobby Kootstra
Family Life and Children
Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra have built a large family together. Kootstra is the stepfather to Ryan’s eldest daughter, Violet, who was born in 2008 from a previous relationship . The couple also have three children together. Their son Fred was born in June 2021, followed by their daughter Fenna in December 2022 . In October 2025, the couple welcomed their third child together, a daughter named Holland Juliette Kootstra . Ryan has spoken about how she initially cherished her time as a single mother to Violet, describing it as magical and the best years of her life . However, she acknowledges that having Kootstra and a larger family unit has been supportive for everyone. She admitted that she still struggles with hyper-independence, sometimes forgetting to consider Kootstra’s input because she spent so long making decisions alone as a single parent .
Behind the Scenes of Their Relationship
Ryan has been remarkably open about the challenges and realities of her marriage. In the reality series At Home with Katherine Ryan, viewers saw the couple undergo intimacy coaching and marriage therapy . The comedian candidly discussed their sex life, revealing that they have sex about five times a month, which is above the national average, but that finding time and privacy is difficult with a teenager and two toddlers in the house . Despite seeking advice from a Kamasutra expert, Ryan described herself as still “vanilla” in the bedroom, with no interest in props or games, preferring the simplicity of missionary position . She also highlighted that a lack of appreciation can be a marriage killer, and she stresses the importance of making a spouse feel valued .
At one point, Ryan was still learning how to trust Kootstra fully after years of single parenthood. She has called her hyper-independence a trauma response and acknowledged that she now needs to learn to trust someone else and consider his opinions . Despite these challenges, she has also praised Kootstra for his unwavering support. He famously saved her Netflix scripts during a burglary at their London home in October 2019, wrestling her laptop from an intruder despite the risk to himself . While Kootstra is not a fan of cosmetic surgery and views it as an unnecessary risk, Ryan has said he supports her decisions and loves her for who she is, having known her pre-fame and pre-Botox .
In conclusion, Bobby Kootstra is more than just Katherine Ryan’s husband; he is her second chance at love. Their story, which began as a teenage romance in a small Canadian town and rekindled decades later through a chance encounter, has blossomed into a solid partnership. While Ryan commands the stage with her sharp comedy, Kootstra remains her steady anchor at home, helping to raise their growing family away from the glare of the spotlight.1. Who is Katherine Ryan’s husband?
Katherine Ryan’s husband is Bobby Kootstra, her Canadian childhood sweetheart from Sarnia, Ontario. They first dated as teenagers and reconnected in 2018 after 20 years apart.
2. Are Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra legally married?
They are in a civil partnership, not a traditional marriage. The ceremony took place in Denmark in September 2019 because it was the quickest and cheapest option. Ryan joked she chose a civil partnership because she didn’t need to “pretend to be a virgin”.
3. How many children do Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra have?
The couple have three children together: Fred (born June 2021), Fenna (born December 2022), and Holland Juliette Kootstra (born October 2025). Kootstra is also stepfather to Ryan’s eldest daughter Violet (born 2008).
4. How did Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra get back together?
They reconnected in 2018 while Ryan was in Ontario filming an episode of the BBC genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are?. Ryan posted on Instagram about going to a pub with her sister, and Kootstra turned up there.
5. Why do Katherine Ryan and Bobby sleep in separate beds?
They sleep in separate rooms because they each co-sleep with their young children. Ryan sleeps with Fenna while Bobby sleeps with Fred, a setup she calls “man-to-man defence”. Bobby admitted this arrangement has not been great for intimacy but they plan to change it as the children grow older.
